Lauri Matisse Writer

Weaving Light

River of Gold

Finding Your River of Gold

We have all heard of “the starving artist.” Even though I have been fortunate enough to live off of my creative endeavors, I have many times shared the path of “the starving artist.” In fact, there is a certain amount of “starving” that an artist, writer, or creator must feel in order to be in touch with the creative soul.

Elohim, the great Creator, formed the heavens and the earth from the original Creative Spirit, when the Ruach H’Kodesh, the holy breath exhaled on the face of the waters. Wow. I wonder what his inhale was like?!

To be in touch with God’s Creative Spirit, there is a certain amount of “starving” or “crying out” that a true artist must feel. A crying out for more. We must inhale, seeking to draw in creative energy and inspiration, before we exhale and pour it out in our work.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of God.”* When there are no finances or comforts coming in, a soul has to look inward and upward. What was I made for? What is my purpose on earth? An artist or writer, must be ever-seeking that inward depth of soul in order to achieve an ever-higher journey of creativity, thus completing successful, purposeful work throughout one’s life cycle on earth.

An award winning and deeply inspired composer friend of mine, Marco Rosetti, who scored my short film, The Heart Beat, and contributed his amazing talent to Eve the Musical, said to me, “We, as artists, are the directors of the human soul.”

My famous quote, or not so famous, ha ha, is, “To be created as an artist seems to be God’s cruel joke.” Musicians, Artists, Writers, and Creators, must retain sensitivity in order to create, yet they must put their work before the rest of the world, often who are not as sensitive.

Without the emotional or financial freedom to create, an artist’s work can become a watered down, worthless, regurgitation of another person’s creative journey. To “sell out” is the worst fate of a true artist.

Most of us have had to sell out at one point or another, but as the window of my journey on earth closes, I find that I don’t have time to write words, or paint strokes, unless they are words or lines that have been mined in the caverns of the authenticity of my soul.

This takes time alone. Gold is mined in a cave, where one needs courage to go into the dark, unknown or uncertain place.  In a river, one pans for gold, which takes patience and time.

Isaiah writes, “I will give you the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places.”** It is in these dark and mysterious places, mined and panned, with courage, time and patience, an artist can find his or her Rio de Oro, River of Gold, pouring from their soul into their life’s work.

My soul cries out for the more. My soul deeply yearns to take a dip in my Rio de Oro, maybe even a swim. Perhaps even plunge over the waterfall of my river into the unknown pool of my creativity. I have one life on this planet and to live without creating from my soul simply doesn’t work for me. If we, as true artists, are the directors of the human soul, it is not only our responsibility, but our privilege and highest calling, to be in touch with the soul, in order to create works of art that will move the mountains of the mundane.

Henry Miller writes, “Men are not suffering from the lack of good literature, good art, good theatre, good music,… they are suffering from the fact that art is not the primary moving force in their lives. They are suffering from the act, repeated daily of keeping up the pretense that they can go their way, lead their lives, without art.”***

A writer needs to author passages of words, which weave magic carpets for fellow seekers to ride on the wings of the wind. A musician must have time to hear the music in order to compose melodies that will reach down from heaven and elevate our souls to a higher plane.

Another world renowned composer and classical guitarist friend of mine, Eric Henderson, expressed to me, “When I compose a song, it is like listening to a melody in a far off village. As I listen, the melody comes closer and closer.” He wrote a ear-bending sonnet for his wife, so complex, that it took him two years to learn to play it after he wrote it.

As an architect, I attempt to compose structures and arrange the stagnant objects like rocks, wood and glass into a three dimensional symphony, so that the light can dance in the space. My other infamous quote, “Architecture was up all night, so that in the morning, the light could dance.”

In the starving times of my body or soul, I reach deep within myself, and high above myself, and as I keep reaching, I finally pull out a gold nugget. A poem or sketch that feeds the human soul.

In Proverbs we find “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”****   I would not only like to paint beautiful pictures with my words, I would like them to feed people’s souls.

Just as Job writes about in his time of darkness, “ On the left hand, where He does his work, but I cannot behold Him: He hides himself on the right hand, that I cannot see him: But He knows the way that I take: when He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold… for I have esteemed the words of his mouth more than my necessary food.”*****

The words of Job, a man who greatly suffered, feed my soul. If my body was puffed and fat, with too much abundance, my soul might be sluggish, and I would produce nothing but fluff. When a soul thirsts for true art, music, dance, creativity, one goes inward and upward, but also finds needed nourishment in drawing from the wells of other creators who has passed through their own valley of thirsting and made it a well.******

“Art provides a healing force which aids both the maker the viewer,” writes Richard Newman. Our souls need more than the mundane. Our souls need the moon and the stars. We need to feel the rush off the wind on our faces and think of the Creator of our souls who made the wind, the one who is breathing out his holy creative breath to anyone willing to listen and brave enough to breath it in.

As an artist, I feel that if I could live in the highest calling, my highest vocation, it would be to submerge myself, the one and only me, in my River of Gold, find the hidden riches, and pour out the treasures.

I encourage you to do the same!

—“The earth has music for those who listen.”  William Shakespeare

—”Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It’s a gift to the world and every being in it. Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.” ~Steven Pressfield

—“Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better.” ~André Gide

I want the light

locked inside to awaken:

crystalline flower, 

wake as I do:

eyelids raise the curtain

of endless earthen time

until deeply buried eyes

flash clear enough again

to see their own clarity.

–Pablo Neruda

Lauri Matisse is an architect, artist, songwriter, and author of Eve’s Memoirs, no more black days.

Two new books coming soon! I was thinking of you and Hot Yoga, Hot Soup!

  *Matthew 5:3

** Isaiah 45:3

***Big Sur and the Oranges of Hieronymus Bosch, written by Henry Miller, New Directions Publishing, 1957

****Proverbs 25:11

*****Job 23:9-12

******Psalm 84

Featured post

The Passion of JESUS ~ I was Thinking of You…

Excerpt from my new book! 🙂 



Luke 22:39-52

“As we continued our journey to the Garden of Gethsemane, also called, “The Oil Press,” on the lower slope of the Mount of Olives, the golden lantern moon cast a shadow of My body onto the hillside. It was a long shadow—a looming shadow—a shadow of death.

I reflected on David’s twenty-third psalm.

“As I walk through the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.”

  This comforted My soul.

I thought of My disciples’ faces before we parted, as they questioned Me with their eyes full of wonder. I returned their gaze, looking deeply into each of their souls. They might have thought I would overthrow the Roman Government in a few days. They might have been asking themselves if they had the courage to fight for My Kingdom. Possibilities and scenarios of the events to come, crowded their minds, but I had already spoken.

As I soberly left to pray, I asked them to join me…

“Stay with Me and keep watch with Me.”

But alas, they were very sleepy.

I had to keep alert. It was vital for Me to keep watch. I watched and prayed, for after all, I knew what I must do.

As I began to pray, I did not notice the beauty of the moon’s shadows playing softly on the branches of the olive trees, for all the while, I was thinking of you. My soul was sorrowful, even to the point of death. My knees began to ache for I had been here quite some time. Tears began to fall as I prayed for you. The tears felt heavy. Each tear seemed to represent one soul, each precious human soul, of every generation, who depended on Me at this moment to make the decision that would save their life forever.

Great drops of thick, red blood began to fall down my face. I had never sweated drops of blood before. I asked My Father in heaven if there was any other way, for I knew the decision I had to make. I was thinking of you, as well as all of humanity, hanging in the balances between heaven and hell. I was fully aware of the cup that was set before Me. I knew the liquid I must drink, the liquid of My Father’s perfect judgment, the price of redemption. The cup contained the bride price for each soul. The Father’s price for his beloved people would require a blood sacrifice. The cup I must accept is the will of the Father.

The cup contained molecules of you, your life, your decisions, your sin, your death, but more importantly—your inherent need for atonement. The cup held the Garden of Eden, the fall of humanity, the sins of Adam and Eve, as well as the sins of every person who had ever lived, who was living now, or will live on the earth after tonight. The cup held the solemn words—No other way, but His way—the perfect way; the Way, the Truth and the Life of Me—Messiah Jesus.

If I died for many, the way would be complete. I contemplated the way which would be paved in My blood, as I prayed and wept…

“Father, if it is possible… if there is any other way…

Let this cup pass from before Me…”

I tasted blood on my lips and tongue as the drops of blood streamed down my face into my mouth—only a foretaste of what was to come. I heard a band of soldiers approaching in the distance. I could hear their angry voices, but they faded from view for, after all, I was thinking of you…”

Twenty-Five Scenes to give you a deeper sense of God’s love for you… 

“In The Passion of Jesus,

Lauri Matisse weaves together historical fact

with imaginative insight

regarding Jesus’ thoughts

of devotion for those He loves,

as He journeys

From Gethsemane to Calvary.”

Audio Version in the making!

To order a print copy:

Eve’s Memoirs

“I held the fate of all humanity in my hands as I pondered the forbidden fruit, the apple of my wondering; the fruit of my desires, or so I thought. Before the first bite, I pondered the opportunity of it all, but was completely unaware of the enormity of the outcome. How could I have known?!

I was, after all, the first woman on planet earth. Who else can say that? The first woman. Cool, right? Not since that first bite. I’ve been blamed ever since that moment. But really, haven’t we all held the apple from time to time? What would you have done?”        *excerpt from Eve’s Memoirs, day one, year 100 of the dawn

Eve’s voice came to me one day. I was Eve, the first woman, writing my diary from the 100th year of the dawn. The voice came very naturally to me, as I have a heart bursting to love humanity, as a mother would love her children. As Eve’s Memoirs, progressed, it became much more of a spiritual and mystical journey, than I anticipated, but it seemed to encompass the women of the earth, in a way that transcended all barriers. 

 I call myself a modern mystic, because, years ago, when I was searching for a peer group, it was the voice of the Christian mystics, throughout generations, that spoke to me the strongest; such as, Hildegard of Bingen, (1098-1179), Saint Teresa of Avila, (1515-1582) and Saint John of the Cross (1542-1591). When I discovered these amazing souls, who had lived continually in an intense, intimate love relationship with God which superseded all else, I felt akin to them.

I am not a theologian, nor do I want to be one. As a mystic, I am open to spiritual possibilities, beyond what can be reasoned. I might be categorized as a Christian Mystic, but I prefer not to be labeled with an organized religion or subculture. If I one had to pick a label, I would prefer to be called a “Follower of Jesus Mystic.” But regardless of labels; the world now, and throughout history, needs mystics, those who step aside from current tides of philosophy, politics, and cultural waves. We need those who quietly listen to God and bringing forth revelation through art, writing, prayer, poetry, etc.

When I was 10, playing in a field behind my house, I had my first vision. All of a sudden, the heavens opened, and I saw thousands people, off in the distant future, who were reading my books about God. I felt called to be a writer.

I set out to be a playwright in college, and even though, I ended up studying architecture, I wrote my first book at age 23, no more black days. I published it a few years later, when, God brought me the exact amount of money I was praying for as a sign, on a beach in California, in a pink, wet wallet, washed up on the sand, with no I.D.

No more black days, was enjoyed by The Late Royal Highness, Princess Diana, among many others, who expressed they were touched by the book.

As a young writer, I followed authors who exhibited that fresh, love relationship with God in their work, such as Ann Kiemel Anderson, who wrote, Yes, and Frances J. Roberts, who wrote, Come Away My Beloved. I had the privilege of spending the day with Frances, in Ojai, years ago. At the close of our perfect day, I asked her to share with me the most important bit of advice that would help me as a Believer. What she said to me, flowed as a peaceful current, through the often tumultuous rapids of my life, over the next 30 years. She said, “Keep the love relationship between God and yourself as the number one priority.”

Even though spiritually based, Eve’s Memoirs is filled with wit and humor, along with a bit of practical advice which every woman needs to know, (and men, too)! You will find wisdom in Eve’s Memoirs to set you free and equip you as a woman to live a more satisfying life in the Garden, outside the Garden, and in your own inner Garden.

In Eve’s Memoirs, I hope you will relate to Eve’s longings, desires, frustrations and revelations. Eve’s wisdom from the Garden changed my life as a woman. I hope that by reading Eve’s Memoirs, you will find a bit of the mystic in yourself, which will help nourish you on your own life’s pilgrimage.

A Website.

Up ↑